I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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