A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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