Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize