why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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