He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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