Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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