she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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