It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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