Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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