Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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