So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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