I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize