It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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