I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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