when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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