youre lurking in front of me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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