i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Terrible idea I love it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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