theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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