He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize