I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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