And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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