yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize