I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
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I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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