i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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