captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Panties = found
Randomize