I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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