ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
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Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
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But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
my liver is dry heaving
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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