carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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