Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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