I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't deserve a penis
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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