the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I would ride that face into the sunset
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize