Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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