I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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