Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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