Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize