The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize