she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
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My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
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You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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