He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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