She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize