I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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