I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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