I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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