why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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