Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you win again, gameday.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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