Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize