Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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