She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
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We left an ass print on the piano.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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