Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize