You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
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I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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