Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
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Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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